99 Ballons

Like many, The Oprah Winfrey Show offers much needed entertainment at lunch time, or when you feel like wanting to be in tuned with mindless entertainment for an hour - without having to think, and knowing there's got to be something on television that is worth watching.

I always seem to be lucky and fortunate enough to turn on Oprah at the right times. Today was one of them.

There was a story that touched my heart and soul and has filled me with this energy and encouraged me to take my laptop out to the back yard, sitting on the grass and start to write.

Right now in this moment, I'm blessed to be able to feel the wind blowing gently past my skin, to have it through my hair. I'm blessed to be able to hear the birds chirping, to hear children laughing and playing, to hear the faint murmurs of my neighbours, possibly discussing their plans for their Christmas dinner, and a rooster calling. I'm sitting in the shades of a apple tree, pear tree and cherry tree. There are still pears on that tree.

I cried while watching the video, not because I felt sad, but cried because I felt so much love. Elliot was diagnosed with Trisomy 18, a rare genetic disorder that affects one in 3000 births where a third copy of the 18th chromosome is present. Doctors had predicted that Elliot wouldn't make it to birth. The life span ranges from 1 - 15 days. Imagine having only 1 -15 days to live.

For Elliot's parents, everyday was a blessing, everyday was celebrated with love and joy. They loved learning how to help Elliot, how to look after him, how to make him as comfortable as possible. They didn't think of the end, or when the end was coming, his mother lived with a "I'll be sad later" attitude, that is an amazing amount of strength in those words.

After watching the video, and then YouTubing the video, I felt a surge of awareness and love that brought me to the backyard. There are no thoughts in my mind. No thoughts of wanting more, no thoughts of failure, no thoughts of what-should-I-do-next. Just pure calm and peace.

It's very beautiful right now. I have beautiful music playing in the wind. The sun shining down on me. My speakers on my laptop are brilliant! :) I'm glad I bought it.

What troubling me for the last few weeks is future. How am I going to get there? What should I do to help it get there? Where's this magic knight going to come from? I've fought countless battles with my mind, shut up, we'll get there, am I going to do it?, we're definitely there, will I have it?, you deserve it. I think what it is, is seeing results. Looking for it. Looking for the answer, when really the answer is already there.

God literally, never closes a door on you without leaving you an open window. Or in the case of a young American survivor from hurricane Katrina, God broke a window for him, and the spirit of his mother guided him towards a new life through that window and wouldn't allow him to be with her. She wanted his to live the life he deserved to live, not just for himself, but for her.

Take a moment for yourself. Open up your eyes and just view the beauty and love all around you. I know at this moment, the ants love me so much, they can't get off of me!!

Enjoy the video and I wish you all a Merry Christmas and a New year!